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One Woman's Story

My story of an online Cyberpath - and my association with WiredSafety

"You've got mail" - remember the film? It was fun and had a happy ending. We all said "oh how great - to meet somebody on the Internet and find true love"

WiredSafety gets lots of calls for help from women who instead of finding true love, find true nightmares.

This is my story:

I had been a widow for 3 years and in my early 50's, trying to regain my confidence and rebuild my life after the death of my husband. I bought a home PC to increase my computing skills to enable me to get back into the workplace. I also found AOL and the over 50's and "seniors" chat rooms. My long lonely winter evenings were spent chatting to new friends in these rooms.

Then one evening "you've got mail" a nice letter from Al, an American widower who was living and working in the U.K. for 6 months and looking for online friendship. We chatted online for a time and then he asked if he could ring me. I gave him my mobile number. It turned out he was living within 20 miles of me and after a week or so he asked me out to dinner. We met and it appeared we had a lot in common and agreed to meet again. The relationship developed and I was happy. Then one evening he rang me to say that he would have to return to Florida, his brother had had a stroke but that he would return to the U.K. as soon as he could. He did come back, and he spent a long weekend with me, before returning to Florida again, and asked me if I would like to plan a holiday in Florida with him to meet his family, in fact we started to make plans to be together in the future.

Then I had an e-mail from Jody, Al's son, saying his father was in hospital the doctors had diagnosed bowel cancer. As you can imagine I was totally distraught. Over the next few weeks Al rang me when he could, and I also corresponded by e-mail with Jody, who gave me graphic descriptions of Al's treatment, nursing care etc. Al died 8 weeks later.

For the next 6 or 7 months Jody kept in touch with me, he offered me a job in Florida to help him sort out and run his father's business. Then by pure chance a friend of mine rang me late one night. He had been chatting online to a widowed lady friend who, in the course of conversation, told him about an American whom she had met and that he had subsequently died 6 months ago.

You guessed it - it was the same man - AL.

The two ladies met, and confirmed what they both had dreaded - yes it was the same man. We had both been caught by the same "PLAYER". We went to the police but unfortunately the CPS could find no law under which he could be prosecuted.

I was so emotionally distraught by this I contacted WiredPatrol and received wonderful support from them which helped me to move on with my life. I decided to turn this episode into positive thinking and action. Knowing this man operated on AOL I did an advanced search in the U.K. for ladies who had "widow" in their profile and I e-mailed them all, I had dozens of replies from all over the country from other widows who had also been caught by him.

Since all this happened nearly 3 years ago now, I have been working with WiredSafety to help and educate vulnerable groups of women on all aspects of safety on the Internet.

If you are being harassed or stalked online please contact Cyber 911 at WiredSafety and ask for help.

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WiredSafety is the world's largest online safety and help group

World Wired Women (UK)

Support Our Work

One Woman's Story

My story of an online Cyberpath - and my association with WiredSafety