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Dr. Jean Watkins, PhD (Psychologist)

Kids in middle school and beyond generally substitute the values of their peers for that of their parents.  They will still relate to their parents but, will be idealizing their peers at the same time.  Thus we have the strongest motivator for kids, peers.  Not only do they want to wear what peers wear, but go where they go, and, of course, do what they do.

Parents, on the other hand, have increasingly become two career families and are alienated from school meetings, relationships with other parents, and, in general, know less about their children's activities than ever before.  Depending upon the maturity of the parent, they join the ranks of generations of parents throughout time, who are not comfortable talking to their children about "sensitive" issues.  They often deny, to themselves, that their children could possibly smoke, use drugs, have promiscuous sex, etc.  Adding to this, if a parent is emotionally needy, has difficulty maintaining close relationships with adults, they will easily substitute their child for a friend.  This is psychologically very harmful to children.

These children who grow up learning to take care of their parent, emotionally, will tend to be "caretakers" in all of their relationships.  Also, they lacked the parental support needed, so they become needy themselves!