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Let them know you will not over-react or punish them for doing it. This is too important for them to be afraid to be honest with you. Explain to them that you know that everyone is downloading music without paying for it. But make sure they understand that some things are wrong, even if everyone is doing them. It should be your values that become their family values. Your voice should be the one they hear. You should be the one they turn to with questions and for help. The fact that they understand more about technology than we do doesn’t change the fact that we are still the parents.

And as parents we need to make sure that we load the filter between our children’s ears with what it takes to make the right decisions in life. This is just another right decision.

Start by asking them if they download music, or listen to it online. Understand what they are doing. Check out the software they have been using, and the sites they are accessing to download or listen to music. Do it with them. Check the settings. See if you are sharing files on your computer with others online. Your children may not even realize that they are sharing music files.

If your children are twelve and older, but claim not to be downloading music, ask if their friends are downloading it on your computer. If the answer is “no,” check your computer for any P2P technology and any folders marked “shared files.” They may not feel comfortable enough to tell you what they are really doing. You can buy filtering software products that will prevent your children from accessing the P2P networks or downloading the software. CyberPatrol and Cybersitter are two examples of software that can be configured to block access to the P2P networks.

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