wiredsafety.org is the world's largest online safety and help group

One of the biggest problems with cyberpredators is that they operate in your home. But improving your alarm system and adding better locks won't keep them out.

They enter your living room through your computer. Your children feel safe in their pajamas and slippers, with you seated a few feet away watching television or reading.

They are otherwise safe and secure. Therefore, people who converse with them while they are in this comfort zone are safe, too, as safe as any other invited guest in your home.

Cyberpredators

These predators count on this sense of security in lulling your children into letting down their guard. There is a sense of intimacy online that cyberpredators take advantage of to convince your children that they are not strangers at all.

It's your job to teach your children that these people ARE strangers, no matter how friendly they sound. If you stay close at hand, make it a point to get to know their online friends, the cyberpredator's task will be much harder.

What to do?

Protecting your children online is like buying a theft device for you car. Although it can't completely prevent thieves from stealing your car if they really want to, hopefully you've made it hard enough that they'll go somewhere else. Report any attempts to lure your child into a face-to-face meeting to law enforcement officials immediately! And if anyone is harassing your children or yourself online, by sending repeated unsolicited e-mails and stalking them elsewhere online, report it the systems operator.

There are a few tips that can help keep your child safe online.

• Keeping your child safe online
• Read an anatomy of a pedophile
• Additional reading material: "Innocence Lost? Protecting Your Child from the Trauma of Abuse" by Debbie Mahoney

Keeping your child safe online

• Keep the computer in a central family location, not in the child's room. The computer shouldn't be an escape for the child, but a family activity.
• Get to know your children's online friends. You wouldn't let them spend lots of time with a new friend in the neighborhood until you've met them and know about them, online friends are no different.
• Screen e-mail with all younger children. Many pedophiles attach child pornography to e-mails sent to children. The child pornography is used to convince the child that other children are performing sexual acts. Make sure you screen all attachments or limit e-mail through parental control features or software.
• Help your children keep computing online in balance. Too many children get compulsive about computing and forget to play with real friends and never play outdoors in physical activity. Help them find a healthy balance.
• If you can't be home with them when they're online, use child protection software to help keep an eye on them. Some software keeps them from sharing personal information with others online, like their names, addresses and telephone numbers.
• Make sure they understand that they should never meet anyone in real life that they met online without parents in attendance, and that people online are often not honest about who or what they are.

An anatomy of a pedophile

In Parry's book, "A Parents Guide to the Internet", she analyzed the kids for things pedophiles look for in spotting their prey online. She also noted how they typically try to lure your children into trusting them.

There are a few things a parent should note:

Pedophiles prey on the new, inexperienced kids online. The more your children display cyber-smarts, the less likely they will appeal to a predator online. Before your children wander around online unattended, surf with them. If you're new online too, find some helpful sites to get you up to speed fast.

Pedophiles look for loners. Many parents buy their children a computer because they don't have many real life friends. These kids are easier prey, since it's less likely they'll talk about the overtures to their friends, and they are more susceptible to someone trying to befriend them. They're lonely, and the pedophile poses as a much-needed friend.

Pedophiles look for kids who are having problems at home. They too are easier prey, since they are looking for a sympathetic ear. The pedophile tries to win the child over by further separating the child from their family, complaining about "parents" generally.