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Sanity Cases and Chaos Magnets

The Sanity Case

Just around Christmas time, my daughter going to a weekend sleepover and I was anxious that she had everything she could need. I'd made sure her cell phone was topped up (despite her urgings not to call her on it) and that my e-mail address and IM details were indelibly etched on her mind. Writing them out on cookies and packing them into her overnight bag seemed like a good idea at one point until I realized that baking and I don't exactly get along and if I did manage to produce something that resembled a cookie, icing it was another story.

Me: "Do you have your toothbrush?"

Child: "Yes"

Me: "Hair clips?"

Child: "Yes"

Me: "Brush?"

Child [exasperated]: "YES! I have everything I need here in my sanity case"

<child holds up vanity case>

I know which one I prefer - henceforth, small hand luggage for ladies in this house will be termed a "sanity case" which I think is rather apt.

Breakfast

9.00 am - feeling hungry - want chocolate oatmeal

9.10 am - put chocolate oatmeal in bowl, add milk

9.15 am - put bowl in microwave

MiCrOwAvE dOeSn'T wOrK

9.20 - 9.30 am - run around like a headless chicken because I don't know what to do if I can't use the microwave

9.35 am - beat the heck out of the microwave with Moosewood Cookery Book (knew that would come in handy one day)

9.40 am - one bowl of microwaved chocolate oatmeal...

:o)

Elf Mage

Its 11.20 pm here, I just went outside to see what my son was doing. He's on the patio, having built his own furnace out of bricks, making weapons.

However - he is naked except for a pair of cropped pants and is covered from head to foot in camouflage body make up.

I asked him what he was doing. He said he was an Elf Mage...

*sigh*

Chaos Magnet

Put me into the real world and there is chaos. Even the little things.

I went shopping this afternoon - a simple enough operation, one would have thought. I the newsagents I just stood at the counter, looked blankly at the assistant and said "...hang on a minute, it'll come to me", as I covered my eyes with my hand, trying desperately to remember why I was there.

In the grocery store I took out several other shoppers with my cart-rammer (by accident) and knocked over an entire display of mints whilst trying to remember why I was standing at the candy counter. Luckily I am a creature of habit when it comes to my shopping and the assistant at the newsagents knew what I wanted and handed over my items without batting an eyelid, the girl at the candy counter grinned to herself as she fetched my "usual" and I picked up the mints (last week it was chocolate eggs all over the floor) and the guy filling the freezer cabinet performed an expert curve and swerve to avoid my cart wheels for the third time and as I apologized he said "its OK, I'm used to it."