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Ask Parry! is a service where Parry Aftab, noted online safety and privacy expert, and Executive Director of WiredSafety.org can answer your questions about online safety, privacy and security, and help you with problems you encounter online. Anything from help finding a safe chat room for your teens, to knowing what to do if the item you bought at auction doesn't arrive as promised.
Part of the challenge we face in trying to keep our kids safe online is telling the difference between what's only annoying or offensive and what's dangerous and even illegal. But whether it's illegal or merely annoying, we need to remember that we have the right, as parents, to decide what our children should see and what they shouldn't. And we have to be realistic about the risks. There's a fine line between being a cautious parent and being a paranoid wreck. We shouldn't see monsters under every cyber-bed and in every cyber-closet. We need to recognize where the real risks are, and remember that many things are only annoying, not dangerous.
Finally, as our children mature and demonstrate improved judgment, we have to keep moving the bar higher, to give them more freedom and choices online. A big part of parenting is teaching our children to exercise their own judgment. The training wheels have to come off sometime.
That said, there are two kinds of risks our children face online. One relates to our children's sensitivities, emotional well-being, and intellectual growth. The other relates to their physical well-being and safety. While no one wants their children's feelings hurt, or their being exposed to disgusting and hateful information, I think if given a choice we would prefer that to their being physically molested or hurt. It's people who pose the greatest risks to our children online, not information.