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Our children's stranger-danger defenses are not triggered when other kids are involved. The warnings apply only to adult strangers, not to other children. If any of us walked up to a child in a playground and tried to strike up a conversation, they would ignore us and probably run away. But if an unknown eleven-year-old came up to another eleven-year-old in the same playground, they'd be playing in ten seconds flat! That's how the pedophiles get in under our kids' stranger-danger radar-they pretend to be other kids.

And children often believe what they read and hear. They "know" things about the predator because they believe what he told them. They also believe what they read about him in his "staged" profile, which supports what he told them. So it's not just true, it's confirmed. There are many stages at which the pedophile can be thwarted by an observant parent. In addition, children with healthy friendships and a strong, open, and trusting relationship with their parents are less likely to fall victim to pedophiles online. Pedophiles typically prey on a child's loneliness. They feed the child's complaints about her home life-creating an "us-versus-them" atmosphere. "Your mom is so mean to you! I don't know why she won't let you _______." (Fill in the blank with whatever we regulate: makeup, malls, concerts, etc.)

This atmosphere does two things: It creates a distance between the child and her parents, at the same time bringing the child into a special secret alliance with the pedophile. (You should know that boys are almost as often the victims of molestation as girls are.)

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