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Photograph of Parry Aftab, Executive Director of WiredSafetyParry Aftab
Parry Aftab, an Internet privacy and security lawyer, is WiredSafety's Executive Director. Parry is The Privacy Lawyer columnist for Information Week magazine.More...
Ask Parry! FAQ

What are the risks our children face online?

How can I teach my children about risks online if I have never used the Internet?

How can I tell if something is dangerous to my child or merely offensive?

I hear that the Internet is loaded with criminals. Is that true?

I think that the only way to keep your children safe is to keep them offline. Is that true?

O.K.ay, you convinced me. But I'm not a techie, and I can't even program my VCR. How can I supervise my children online?

I hear there are no laws in cyberspace. Is that true?

I'm afraid that my children will be kidnapped or molested by someone they meet online. How serious a risk is that?

How do I know when my child is ready to use the Internet?

How do I encourage my child to come to me with questions and when things go wrong online?

I taught my children about "Stranger Danger." But how does this work when you're supposed to talk with strangers online?

My children and teens want to chat online, but I hear it's dangerous. What should I do?

My kids don't chat online, but they use Instant Messaging all the time. Is that a problem?

I trust my child not to get into trouble. Is that a mistake?

Who's at risk? Is there a profile of a typical child victim of Internet-related sexual molestation?

How can you find out what information is posted online about your child?

Is there a profile of a typical predator?

My children know not to talk to strangers. I have been teaching them about stranger-danger for many years. I don't believe they would be lured into talking to a predator online. How does this happen?

What is the likelihood of my child meeting an online predator offline? Should I be worried?

My children attend a school that has a Web site They have posted the names and photos of the students at the site. Is that a problem?

What can I do to help my child avoid being a victim of an Internet sexual molester?

What about filtering and blocking software and parental controls? Do they keep your child safe?

What about technology…are there products to help you snoop on your child?

Should I snoop on my children?

Maybe I should just keep them from using the Internet entirely.

But what can I do if I don't understand computers or technology? My children know more than I do about the Internet.

So, what can I do to make my children more Internet-safety-savvy?

What do I do if I suspect my child is involved with an Internet sexual predator?

Whom do I contact to report an Internet sexual predator?

My child told me about their encounters online with someone I suspect is a sexual molester. I understand you want me to report it to law enforcement. But what do I do if I don't want to get law enforcement involved?

What do I do if my child is missing and I suspect that an Internet sexual molester is involved?

Which law enforcement agencies in the United States handle cybercrimes?

What kinds of things are teens really doing online?

I suspect that teens act out online. Is that true?

What's your favorite and most important safety tip?

Ask Parry!

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Ask Parry! Ask Parry! is a service where Parry Aftab, noted online safety and privacy expert, and Executive Director of WiredSafety.org can answer your questions about online safety, privacy and security, and help you with problems you encounter online. Anything from help finding a safe chat room for your teens, to knowing what to do if the item you bought at auction doesn't arrive as promised.

I trust my child not to get into trouble. Is that a mistake?

Trusting your children is wonderful. But it's irrelevant when it comes to online safety, because the ones you really need to be able to trust are all the other people using the Internet. But those other Internet users shouldn't be trusted to look out for our children's safety. That's our job.

While many of us may trust our children not to access inappropriate (however your family defines "inappropriate") sites, it's not that simple. Lots of "trusted" kids are getting into trouble by meeting strangers face-to-face offline because we fail to teach them the danger of these things.

Parents have to remember that whether or not we understand how the Web works, or even how to turn on a computer, we are still the parents. We are still in charge. We still have the better judgment. We can't cop out by saying we "trust" our children. We have to make sure that we teach them to be trustworthy, and how to avoid dangers posed by others.

As parents, we each teach our children how to make responsible decisions. We need to recognize that their tech skills far outdistance their judgment. It's our job, as parents, to fill this gap with our greater experience and judgment. (No one ever said parenting was easy.) Bottom line: It's not your kids you have to distrust, it's the millions of others online. We have to arm our children with the skills they need to stay safe in this environment, while still enjoying it.

Remember: You're still the parent. The Internet hasn't changed that. (Are you starting to see a pattern here?)

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Parts of this Web site were taken from Parry Aftab's book The Parent's Guide to Protecting Your Children in Cyberspace. Marvel and all character names and the distinctive likenesses thereof are trademarks of Marvel Characters, Inc., and are used with permission. TM & © 2004 Marvel Characters, Inc. All rights reserved. www.marvel.com. Super Heroes is a Co-owned registered Trademark.
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